"One Way Back": Christine Blasey Ford on speaking out, death threats, and life after the Kavanaugh hearings

The waters round Lighthouse Subject State Seashore, in Santa Cruz, California, are stunning to have a look at, however browsing right here is one thing else. It takes a sure form of fortitude to leap in. The waves are nice, however the currents are robust, and the rocks are sharp and unforgiving. Christine Blasey Ford has surfed this break numerous occasions, on good days and dangerous. She is aware of simply what it takes to summon up your braveness and hurl your self off a cliff.

In September 2018, Ford – a Ph.D. in psychology, a professor at Palo Alto College, and a mom of two – jumped straight into the maelstrom of American politics.

She alleged that Justice Brett Kavanaugh, who was then a nominee for a seat on the Supreme Court docket, had sexually assaulted her in the summertime of 1982, when she was 15 and he was 17.

“I’m right here as we speak not as a result of I need to be. I’m terrified.”

In her testimony she acknowledged, “I used to be pushed onto the mattress and Brett bought on prime of me. He started working his palms over my physique and grinding his hips into me.”

The members of the Senate Judiciary Committee held on her each phrase, as did practically 10 million viewers on cable TV.

And a short while later, an emotional Kavanaugh testified that Ford had all of it incorrect. “This affirmation course of has turn into a nationwide shame,” he stated. “If the get together described by Dr. Ford occurred in the summertime of 1982 on a weekend evening, my calendar exhibits all however definitively that I used to be not there. …

“I categorically and unequivocally deny the allegation towards me by Dr. Ford. I by no means had any sexual or bodily encounter of any type with Dr. Ford.”

“Sunday Morning” reached out to Justice Kavanaugh for this story, however bought no response to a request made by the court docket.

Smith requested Ford in regards to the arguments made by supporters of Kavanaugh: “One of many huge issues that they stated is, ‘Why is it that nobody can recall that evening in the way in which that you simply recollect it, that there was that get together?'”

“Effectively, there have been so many events in highschool, and this was a fairly unremarkable one,” Ford replied. “And his pals not with the ability to recall that night, I suppose, simply would not shock me, as a result of everybody type of bought collectively virtually each evening to hang around collectively.”

“Do you suppose that that lent weight to his facet of the story, that nobody can bear in mind it?” requested Smith.

“Effectively, it looks as if they suppose that for positive, and that that was how they, you already know, portrayed that evening,” Ford stated.

“Do you suppose that that bolsters his facet of the story, that nobody can bear in mind it?”

“No,” stated Ford. “To me it would not bolster his story, as a result of I believe, like, for survivors on the market, if you already know it occurred to you, so even when nobody ever believed you or nobody thought it occurred or nobody noticed it – and there are individuals which can be assaulted on a regular basis the place nobody else was even there – that does not imply it did not occur.”

Ford’s testimony drew robust reactions from either side.

Requested if she was naïve about how the method labored, Ford stated, “I like to make use of the phrase ‘idealistic,’ however possibly I used to be naïve for positive about [the] penalties and the way dangerous it will be after I testified.”

What’s extra, a memo launched by committee chair Charles Grassley’s workplace in November 2018 stated that the Senate and subsequent FBI investigations discovered “no proof to substantiate any of the claims of sexual assault made towards Justice Kavanaugh.”

Smith requested, “What was it like so that you can see that? Right here it goes on the market and you already know there have been individuals on tv saying, ‘Look, this exonerates Justice Kavanaugh’?”

“I used to be devastated when that report got here out; I used to be actually, actually upset,” stated Ford. “That was a very tough interval that I believe was the start of type of the darkest occasions for me.”

And issues bought darkish, certainly: not solely was her second within the nationwide highlight deeply traumatizing, it additionally introduced loss of life threats credible sufficient to drive her and her household out of their dwelling and right into a lodge for months. 

What sort of threats? “Gosh. ‘I wanna see you six toes underneath. I wanna see you 12 toes underneath, 10 toes underneath,’ any quantity, you already know, loads of these,” Ford stated. “‘I hope you get most cancers. I hope you die. I offer you a 12 months. Glad you may have two youngsters ‘trigger we’ve two alternatives.’ And the entire letters like that, they’d have such similarity to them that it felt like, ‘Do these individuals know one another? As a result of how might the wording be that comparable?'”

“They have been threatening your loved ones, your youngsters?” requested Smith.

“Uh-huh. Yeah, particularly the first-born. That gave the impression to be a factor. It is, like, you already know, ‘We’ll take your first-born.’ … It is nonetheless scary. It nonetheless scares me.”

In reality, it bought so dangerous that the household wanted ’round the clock safety, and to at the present time they nonetheless use guards for some public appearances, which may value hundreds of {dollars} at a time.

She writes about all of it in a brand new guide, “One Manner Again,” together with her months-long wrestle to determine how, or if, to come back ahead in any respect.

Smith requested, “It looks as if you have form of gotten again to, if not regular, not less than security, feeling comfy. Why write this guide and put your self out within the highlight once more?”

“This guide is admittedly for the letter-writers, and it is devoted to them,” stated Ford.

She says a lot of the mail she bought have been letters from supporters and survivors of sexual assault – so many who they’ve taken up the eating room in her dwelling.

And so they simply hold coming. “We have made it by 30,000 to this point,” Ford stated. “All I do know is there’s greater than that left to go.”

She stated all these letters show to her that, despite the fact that Justice Kavanaugh was finally confirmed, Ford’s testimony meant one thing. “I believe it will be unattainable to learn the letters and never – even in the event you simply learn 10 of them – suppose that it did not matter.”

When requested if her life has returned to regular, she replied she’d given up on the thought of regular fairly some time in the past. “However I am in a brand new regular,” she stated, “and a brand new chapter.”

Ford stated that when she first got here ahead, she did not know simply how tough the waters could be, however for her it was the one manner.

And he or she would not remorse coming ahead: “In no way,” stated Ford. “I grew up in D.C. I revered all of these establishments. And to me the Supreme Court docket was type of the last word. That is the place our easiest persons are. And I felt like the selection of claiming nothing was extra uncomfortable, that I must reside with not saying something about it.”

READ AN EXCERPT: “One Manner Again” by Christine Blasey Ford

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      Story produced by John D’Amelio. Editor: Mike Levine.