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House is the place the guts is
An important announcement is to be made.
Trumpets blare and emeralds glitter
As King Luxon the Aspirational
Strides purposefully into his media convention.
A lone scribe from the Australian Broadcasting Company
Sits in row ten.
“I’ve a dream!” Pronounces the King.
“Now not will the shagpile carpet be threadbare,
Now not shall the weatherboards flake paint!
Now not shall disenfranchised younger households
Wrestle with outmoded leisure techniques!
Now not shall kids shiver
In chilly and mouldy bedrooms!
Now not will Christmas entertaining
Be a sub-par expertise for in-laws!
Now not will we now have to stare
At drained Eighties Laura Ashley wallpaper!
Now not will we be condemned to co-habit
Ten to a room in disreputable neighbourhoods!Change is coming to the Kingdom! Lo!
We’re entitled to one thing higher
Than these imply and degrading hovels!”
The lone media scribe shouts from the gap.
“O King! Does this imply a Royal Initiative
Of constructing new hovels for the folks?”
The King stares quizzically.
“Who mentioned something concerning the folks?”
Replies the monarch,
“I’m speaking about me.”
Victor Billot has felt moved to jot down Odes for public figures these many generations previous, similar to Lord Winston, Toad of Seymour, and Prime Sinister Jacinda Ardern.
The submit An Ode to .. the tenant of Premier Home appeared first on Newsroom.
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